Sensory Diversity
Sensory Diversity
This post was posted by an admin or staff writer of Sensory Diversity. Sensory Diversity is the recognition that every individual perceives, filters, and responds to the world in a unique way. While neurodiversity celebrates the different ways we think, sensory diversity focuses on the gateway to those thoughts: our senses.
Misophonia is serious.
It is a big deal to get through school with Misophonia, it can be a nightmare, and seriously torturous. I would not have survived grade school without earplugs, and even still, I would have to take bathroom breaks often, just to cool down. I listened to music any chance that a teacher would let me, because sometimes I could hear triggers through my earplugs. I constantly looked frightened and annoyed, and was often very socially awkward. It is a miracle that I even graduated. I got very angry, and cried a lot, mostly in secret, because no one believed me when I told them that sniffing, chewing, coughing, tapping, and ticking, were causing me so much distress. I would get home and lock myself in my room. I constantly had loud music or a fan going to drown out my family, which sounds terrible. Growing up, and going through school is confusing, and difficult enough, but add an odd, and unheard of, brain tick, in the mix, its and makes for an even more exciting time, way too exciting, and stressful.
Misophonia causes me act freakish and odd, for far too long, I was ashamed and defeated and sunk into a dark place, but now, I embrace and respect my uniqueness. Yes, it is strange and weird that I cannot physically and emotionally allow myself to repetitively sense a trigger, and not flee, stop, or mute the trigger in some way. Additionally, once I’m wound up from a trigger, I have to consciously calm and soothe myself back down to normal, before I can re-enter reality, and focus, without a charge of adrenaline rushing through me.
It’s weird, and it is exhausting, but I have a neurological disorder, that pumps extreme floods of weird hormones, and sensations throughout my body, at the slightest noises and experiences. I live with it, I have no other choice. The sooner all sufferers and those around us, accept that we cannot control being triggered and accommodate it, one isolating aspect of the disorder is lifted, and it becomes a little bit easier to process.
There may not be a cure, and if there ever is, it is very far off. Some of us might be dealing with this, on our own, with internet knowledge, for the rest of our lives. I advocate, and write, for the future generations of Misophones. So that maybe we can gain faster recognition and prevent more blind suffering. Mental illnesses and strange learning and sensory disorders, in general, have risen in children by 16% in the last ten years, so humanity will have to pay more attention to the issue at some point. There are many theories in which people believe that the boom in technological advances within the last 50 years, happened faster than the human mind was capable of widely handling, and this is having some backlash. The younger generations now know how to work a cell phone or tv at one and two years old, yet ask your grandma to work them, and see how that goes. This is terrifying, in a way. Regardless, that is only a theory, as to why the learning and sensory disorders are rising, but it is a proven fact that there is an issue, whether it is chemicals we are consuming or using, or what.
Don’t struggle scared and alone, or be uncomfortable.
It has slowly been coming to light, every single day, that there are a lot more Misophones out there than we all realized. We are not alone. We are all different. We are triggered by different things, and affected in different ways, and we all seem to have very sad stories. I’m tired of hearing sad things about Misophonia. Yes, we have a disorder, but we still deserve to be happy in life. We shouldn’t be embarrassed to ask to put on music, or turn on a fan, or get up and take a breather or stretch when we are stressed, and we shouldn’t feel ashamed when we have to wear earplugs, or headphones, whenever, or wherever. Instead of hiding the reasoning and being passive, use the only weapon we can use over the anxiety, include others, and cope as best as we can. If people ask questions about why we are different, or particular, use it as an opportunity to advocate, explain that you have a neurological condition and how it affects you!
No human is perfect, everyone has some sort of battle they face. You have no idea who around you may be struggling too, and being open may create a lot of healthy dialogue. We are not hurting anyone but ourselves by bottling up and feeling ashamed of our biggest hurdle in life, no matter how huge we think it is or how hard we think it will be.
This is a list of headphones for misophonia, added to be sufferers of the disorder. This list will be updated regularly. These headphones are in no particular order, and feature the view of the submitter. Please do send in your own headphone review if you have a pair that you believe are amazing. Headphones and earbuds will be included on this page.
Lower End Headphones for Misophonia
Bluedio Wireless Headphones
Price Range: Low-Mid
Where To Buy: Amazon
I mentioned these headphones in my article, “The Tools I Use To Cope With Misophonia“, and while I am still on the market for new headphones, I still maintain that Bluedio are a great value for their lower-end price.
Here’s a confession. I’ve never found the perfect pair of headphones for my misophonia.
Actually, I’m not really sure one exists but I am always willing to find solutions. I’ve bought, sold, and gave away so many pairs. These ones are pretty good, though. They’re bluetooth compatible with most devices, wireless, and very easy to switch the song and volume by clicking buttons on the right earpiece.
By Post Author
Samsung Phone Earbuds
Price Range: Low
Where To Buy: Amazon
This suggestion comes from Rachel’s article, “Earplug & Headphone Suggestions by Rachel“. So far, the most comfortable, and noise canceling headphones I have come across, are ones that have the plastic cup buds. They are lightweight, and can even be slept in, if small enough. They can come with a mic, so if you are on your phone, you can still answer calls. They are usually sold at dollar stores, and I would recommend getting the cheaper ones. No matter how expensive it is, with the amount of times a Misophone has to use it, and the frustration that usually comes with having to, they are bound to break often.
By Rachel
Avantree 40 hr Wireless / Wired Bluetooth 4.0 Over-the-Ear Headphones

Price Range: Low-Mid
Where To Buy: Amazon
For the lower to middle end of the price-range, I am rather impressed by these Avantree headphones. Firstly, they hold their charge quite well, despite only being charged now and then. Most importantly, they are comfortable, and the sound is not abrasive. While they do not have the same blocking coverage as the higher end Bose, they are certainly more reliable than the other cheap options on the list. An added bonus is that they are capable of both Bluetooth and Aux. Therefore, if you’re trapped without a bluetooth device, you can still quickly plug your headphones in. I’ve used these grocery shopping, and the range was so great that when I accidentally walked away from my mother who had the cart, I got coverage through half a store.
By Post Author
Sol-Republic Relays Sport Ear-buds
Where To Buy: Amazon
Great product. It works really well to block out sounds. They are frequently on sale, too. The sound quality is pretty good too. I give it 4/5 stars.
Submitted by Hayden
Sony NC-7 Noise Cancelling Headphones
Price Range: Low
*Where To Buy: Ebay (United States, Canada)
*These headphones may be hard to find, but they’re being added in the off-chance people can find second-hand or in-store.
It says on the package that these are “ideal for travel” and offer an “87.4% Ambient Noise Reduction.” It’s not perfect but it is better than a lot of so-called noise canceling headphones out there. These come with a sliding on/off button for times when you want or don’t want noise canceling. When I have the button on I cannot hear anything except what is playing through the headphones. What I like about the headphones besides the fact that they’re great on buses, trains and planes is that they are collapsible and not bulky like other headsets. They take one AAA battery and come with a plug adaptor to plug into a dual jack or stereo jack. Mine also came with a soft black carrying pouch for storage. You can also buy a hard case for these separately. The ear pads can make your ears sweaty in the summer, but can be replaced, and the headphones may stop working after continuous usage, but it usually takes years for that to happen unless you don’t take care of them. The headband may pinch your neck so take precautions. Sony discontinued this model several years ago but you can still get them on eBay or Amazon. I like sales so I try to get two pairs at once. These come in black but I believe I have seen then in white. They are pretty good at blocking out sounds like tapping and clicking and mute sharper sounds like gum popping provided you have white or pink noise playing.
Submitted by Shaye
AblePlanet Wired Headphones

Price Range: Low
*Where To Buy: Ebay (United States, Canada)
*These headphones may be hard to find, but they’re being added in the off-chance people can find second-hand or in-store.
When I was Princess Auto (a Canadian retail chain specializing in farm, industrial, garage, hydraulics and surplus items), I found these headphones. On an impulse, I bought them. I had no headphones with me, and I wanted the car ride to be more favourable. I didn’t have high hopes for them, but they’re surprisingly sound resistant. Like the Sony headphones above, these are no longer stocked in stores, but you can find them on Ebay. I find these headphones rather comfortable (almost all headphones hurt my ears) and have lasted me a few years of regular use. They also have a dial on them where I can easily adjust the volume.
By Post Author
Higher End Headphones for Misophonia
Beats Studio3 Wireless Headphones
Where To Buy: Amazon
Beats Studio3 are the closest I get to a safe place. For various issues, TV is the one thing that relaxes me but, unfortunately, we have ridiculously loud neighbors and very thin walls. I found a wireless transmitter that allows me to hear the TV through my headphones, blocking out the world around me. Additionally, if I want to read a book, the headphones connect to my meditation app on my phone that provides the sounds of rain or the ocean to make the distractions disappear. The headphones are very comfortable and hold a good charge for hours. I did have to replace my first pair after about a year, but that could have been a fluke. Overall, pricey but worth it for the sound security.
Submitted by Sara
Skullcandy Crusher Wireless Headphones
Where To Buy: Amazon
I have several fancy/expensive sets of headphones, but these are by far my favorite! The Bose 35’s (my 2nd favorite) are too big for my head and flop around if I have to lean forward or bend over, but these Skullcandy Crusher Wireless headphones fit perfectly. They aren’t as noise cancelling as Bose, but that’s better for me in social situations because I can hear normal conversation without hearing background trigger noises. I also like that I don’t have to download an app to make these work, they connect to my phone with Bluetooth automatically. These headphones are durable and fold up small enough to easily fit in my purse. I like that they are wireless because I don’t have to worry about the cord getting tangled or caught. They do have a place for a cord if you prefer having a cord. Sometimes I use the cord to connect to machines at the gym.
Submitted By Amanda
Bose Quiet Comfort 35 Noise Canceling Headphones
Where To Buy: Amazon
The Bose Quiet Comfort 35 (II) are kind of heavy, especially if you are used to earbuds. The style is around-the-ear. I use them because I think they are very good at noise canceling.
They also reproduce music well, and are not bass-heavy like beats, which I don’t like. I find that I can wear them for hours, while earbuds irritate me in less than an hour. I wear them everywhere, around my neck. I don’t care if I look nerdy. Being able to wear them when someone triggers me makes it worth it. My wireless range is about 20 feet. I recharge every night. The earphones still say 100 percent charged even if not used for a few days.
Submitted by Sondheim
Bose QuietComfort 25 (QC 25)
Price Range: High
Where To Buy: Amazon
I love the Bose QC25s. They are very very similar
to the 35’s, the newest model from Bose, however their are slight differences. One being, the 25’s have replaceable batteries, whereas the 35’s have an internal irreplaceable single battery that needs to be charged for the noise cancelling to work. These batteries in the 35’s last slightly more than 10 hours or so which suits most people and is great for the office and travelling to and from work. However, for extended use; i.e. on a plane trip from Sydney to Los Angeles, which is > 20 hours; this simply will not do. And is why for me at least, the QC 25’s reign supreme. Another difference, is the 35’s have built in BlueTooth, where as the 25’s don’t. There are third party bluetooth adapters for the 25’s if you need it that badly, and still require > 10 hours of battery use at a time. Otherwise; this would be the only downside I see to the 25’s. Is having to have the cord in your way, especially when working at a crowded desk.
Submitted by Rowan
Bose QuietComfort 20 Acoustic Noise Cancelling Earbuds

Price Range: High
Where To Buy: Amazon
The Bose QuietComfort 20 earbuds are sound cancelling and they simply block out almost everything. Especially if you are watching tv or playing music through them. But even just with noise cancelling turned on they are incredible! They are very snug and come with 3 different size buds. I try not to sleep with them in so I don’t break the wires. But the few times I have slept with them in they don’t hurt too much, maybe only a little, but if it assists with aiding misophonia I can deal with a little uncomfortable-ness. They have an expensive price tag, but as a sufferer, truly believe they are worth it
Submitted by Camilla
Beyerdynamic DT 770 Pro.
Price Range: High
Where To Buy: Amazon
I liked these headphones so much at work, I wound up getting a second pair for home. Insulation is very good even if you’re not playing any sound. If you play music, it sounds great.
Pay attention to the Ohm rating and make sure it’s the right one for how you’re going to use them. I use 32 Ohm for just plugging into my computer.
I would encourage anyone to read about the different types of headphones, especially the difference between “noise-cancelling” and “noise-isolating.” I find the latter to be far better for misophonia mitigation purposes.
Submitted by Dean
Rowkin Bit Charge Wireless Earbuds
Where To Buy: Amazon
If you need discreet headphones, these tiny wireless headphones are amazing! In situations that require cover up noise, but not socially appropriate to wear headphones, these barely noticeable ear pieces are the next best thing to hearing aid sound generators that cost a lot of money. Unfortunately the battery only lasts about 2 hours, but they recharge quickly and the carry case is the charger. The carry case charger doubles as a backup phone battery, and can recharge the headphones or a phone 2-3 times before needing to be plugged in to fully recharge. I seriously love these tiny in ear headphones for work situations when I can’t use my favorite over the ear headphones. They cover sounds extremely well, so well that I usually only use one ear at a time.
Submitted By Amanda
I’d like to thank all the people willing to share their headphones with us, and generous enough to submit!
Some other awesome options:
Misophonia is officially defined as the hatred of sound. This definition isn’t quite right. Yes I hate some sounds, but not all sounds. I still love music, I love the sound of a baby laughing on his stroller from the Baby Stroller Reviews, I love the sound of my cats purring. But there are some sounds that I hate with a passion. It’s not just hatred though, it’s more than that but it’s also less than that. How do I put this in words to make someone without misophonia understand? Imagine you are sitting at a table eating dinner with your family. If the thought of that made you flinch or filled you with fear, you probably have misophonia. If that’s true I’m sorry. If that’s not true, consider yourself lucky. That dinner table with your family would be filled with noises. Noises that most people hardly notice. The scraping of a fork against a plate, the chewing of food, the slurping of a drink, even the sound of someone swallowing or breathing. All these things and more make that dinner table hell for those of us with misophonia. I apologise right now, because if you have misophonia even reading about those sounds could cause pain.
Some of you without misophonia may be thinking “But everyone gets annoyed by these sounds”, stop that thought right now. Misophonia is more than annoyance, it’s wanting to scream because someone’s breathing too loud. It’s wanting to punch someone who’s smacking their gum. It’s wanting to rip your own ears off because you can’t escape the noise. Hey, if Van Gogh cut off his ear maybe I could too right. That thought goes through my mind more often than it probably should.
Those noises are everywhere. There is literally no way to escape them. Even those of us with misophonia make these noises, sometimes on bad days even the noises I make trigger me. We can put in our earbuds and turn on some music or white noise, but it doesn’t make the noise go away. So we go about our daily lives fighting back the urge to strangle someone every day. Sometimes I don’t even know how I’ve made it through the day. Sometimes I come home from school and all I want to do is scream and cry like a two year old. Sometimes I have panic attacks. Sometimes I can’t even stand the sound of my own breathing. But other times I’m fine. Sometimes I’ll be doing something and I’ll be able to forget that I even have misophonia. It’s not all bad, but it’s definitely not all sunshine and rainbows either.
So if I could define misophonia in my own words how would I define it? I’d define it as a disorder that makes the people who have it have adverse and intense emotional and physical responses to certain noises. These noises often include noises made with the mouth and small repetitive noises. Reactions to these noises may include violent urges to hurt those who are making the noise or themselves, sudden feelings of rage and/or panic, and intense anxiety. This is also a disorder which at the moment has no cure.
There may not be a cure. Not just yet. But I have to hope that someday there will be. Maybe not in my lifetime, maybe not for a century or more. But sooner or later there will be. Until then all I can do is this, writing. Putting my voice out there. Helping people understand. Maybe someone with misophonia will read this and feel a little less alone in their struggle.
This is my definition of misophonia. But I will not let misophonia define me.
Editor Note: There’s a wonderful study at Duke University that has proposed a possible treatment for misophonia. The best part, it’s starting in 2018! To find information on this study, or donate, please go here.
As some of you may know, I’m an adolescent, or a teenager. I’m only 16 but I’m not ashamed to admit I have been in quite a few relationships. There’s a lot of judgement surrounding this top which I believe is unfair. Adolescence is a period of time for learning and discovery. You learn to discover what’s best for you and how your mind works and how you communicate with other people. Obviously, illnesses or disorders – Including Misophonia – make the learning process that more difficult. These are surprising way to improve couple relations if you´re having trouble.
When I first realised I had misophonia, I didn’t tell anyone for years. I discovered it in 2013 and this year was the year I started telling people. I didn’t tell anyone at first because I thought it wasn’t a real thing. I thought that people would judge me if a doctor didn’t say it existed. I thought there was nothing anyone could do about it. I was wrong, however. Despite the lack of an official cure or treatment specifically for misophonia, there are lots of things I can do to help cope with misophonia.
When I started telling people, I only told my mother and my older sister at first. Unlike the majority of teenagers, I do not have a large social group. I don’t have lots of friends on Facebook that I talk to and I don’t meet up with groups of friends at weekends because I do not have groups of friends. After telling them, I struggled to tell my boyfriend. For his privacy, I’ll be calling him A for Anonymous.
At the time, we had been dating for around 2 months. Not long, I know, but I take relationships seriously. I told him I had a rare disorder called misophonia and naturally, he didn’t know about it. Never even heard of it. I don’t blame him, of course. Either way, I explained it clearly. I told him it was a (likely) neurological disorder that, when faced with certain sounds or ‘triggers’ I would respond with the fight-flight-freeze reaction as seen in anxiety attacks, and I could not control it. I didn’t know how else to put it.
I could tell he didn’t completely understand for a while, and that’s okay. I barely understand it myself.
I didn’t tell him my triggers at the time. Not for about a month. I didn’t tell him because he is a boy that likes to joke around and doesn’t take many things seriously. I suppose I didn’t trust him, which is a bad sign in any relationship. One of my triggers is bone cracking, like when someone cracks their knuckles. As if to test it out, he immediately cracked a knuckle and I swear I wanted to punch him.
I don’t usually get angry, at all, but at that moment in time I really wanted to punch him to make him stop.
After a while, he stopped. Thank God. He never spoke about my misophonia. He never asked me about it unless I brought it up, he never asked me about the triggers, never asked me how I cope with it. In a way, I’m happy he doesn’t. I’m happy about it because we had less serious conversations and I never have to think about it really. On the other hand, I’m concerned that he isn’t bothered by my misophonia. Or that he doesn’t seem interested. Or when I told him I started posting on this website, I was excited, but he seemed uninterested. I can’t say it’s a big deal, as I don’t expect everyone to be obsessing over me or my illnesses.
Despite all this, I’m happy. I’m happy with my boyfriend (we’ve been dating for almost 7 months now) and I believe he understands me. He’s always there to support me.
Similarly to me, many teenagers don’t have successful relationships. For adolescents with disorders or illnesses or conditions, whether it be learning disabilities, mental health issues, physical disabilities- relationships can be even more difficult. The conditions can interfere with how you communicate with your partner, how you interpret what they do or say, how you act around them and so on. No matter what your may have, or even if you do not have anything of the such, there are still ways to get advice on the internet.
For the teenagers reading this, however, I’d like to offer just a bit of wisdom from my own experiences.
When you’re in a relationship and you truly believe it is long-term, you should be open about your conditions. If you need to, you can wait a few months before bringing the subject up. A serious conversation is needed once in a while in relationships. Tell your partner it’s serious and explain it very clearly. If they have any questions, answer them without ridiculing them for not knowing the answer. It’s important that they know the things they need to know. If they do not take it seriously for a while, it’s likely not worth it. If they don’t care about your health, that is a huge red flag.
Overall, tell your partner anything important. This is advice for any age, really, but more important for teenagers as they tend to be less serious about their relationships and can end up in toxic or abusive relationships.
I used the free exposure therapy app at the urging of my psych and therapist who are convinced that the only way for me to learn to tolerate sounds is to listen to triggers, gradually increasing the volume and frequency.
I did not find it helpful. It agitates me, it does not in any way increase tolerance. They (and I) both read Tom Dozier’s book – the guy who made the trigger apps, and wants to change the name of misophonia.
He isn’t advocating for typical exposure therapy, but my psych and therapist think he is and both tried to throw me into a group therapy of about 15 people. This was WAY too much exposure at once. I have misokinesia too, and I sat there, earplugs in, trying not to look at anyone, basically in a flight rage panic attack for the first hour and then fled.
I am on disability, as over the years my misophonia has worsened, as well I have a number of other disorders. The only relief I have from misophonia is being able to control my environment at home, with the aid of earplugs and noise cxling headphones.
Exposure therapy (any kind that I know of)is hopeless. I worked with misophonia for many years, and the erance does not increase with exposure, you just learn to internalize your rage responses, or plan escapes from group meetings etc.
I had to drop out of college because of misophonia (and other disorders), but misophonia was the primary cause. Earplugs didn’t help in that setting.
Submitted by Jane
Editor note: Here are some resources on treatment (there is none, currently), research, and a pamphlet for explaining misophonia to your doctor.
https://sensorydiversity.com/misophonia-coping-tips/
https://sensorydiversity.com/misophonia-professionals-information-packet/
Have an experience to share? Submit your story:
https://sensorydiversity.com/submissions/
It is Monday morning again. I make it a point to arrive at the office about 10-15 minutes early to avoid the “morning rush” filtering in the building. I quietly enter the office making it safely to my office and immediate close the door. 8 am is approaching and everyone begins to arrive. Do they go to their desk and begin their day? Of course not, voices from the kitchen echoes down the hall seeping through the walls. Loud voices, shrilly voices, squeaky voices all making my ears bleed. Shut up! Misophonia triggered! Giggle giggle cackle. “How was your weekend?” How long does it take to make a cup of coffee? You pour it in a cup add sugar and cream and you are done.
Do you NOT have work to do? Oh no, here they come. CLICK CLACK! STOMP! STOMP! As they trudge to their desk like the Jolly Green Giant. Can anyone walk normally? What are they wearing, cement shoes? Time to chat with their cubicle neighbors. These people do not speak in normal voices, they talk as loud as they possibly can. Pay attention to me! I often wonder why they talk loud enough for the entire office to hear yet they have to repeat these stories several times. Trust me, we ALL heard about your weekend the first time.
My coworker arrives and turns her walkie talkie on. As soon as the first call blares, I snap. “Can you please turn that off?” She is aware that I suffer from Misophonia and tries her best not to trigger me so she shuts it off. We keep the door closed to block out the office noises but the walls and doors are thin so it only muffles them a bit. Then it begins…
Knock knock! Knock knock! Grrr. Please just come in. An employee walks in and starts to speak Spanish in a loud and high pitched voice. Tune it out, just tune it out. I can’t all I hear is rattling like the adult voices in a Peanuts show. Although the conversation only lasts a few minutes it seems like hours. I am trying so hard to focus on my work. When they exit our office it never fails that they leave the door ajar. A blast of sounds floods through the open door like a tidal wave in my head. I develop a knot in the pit of my stomach, nausea sets in as I close the door again.
Down the hall, the owner of the company is screaming on the phone to someone. It sounds like he is standing right next to me screaming in my ear. He is so loud and angry I can see the vein bulging in his neck through the walls. Someone walks in his office. SLAM! I jump. Why bother closing the door? We can all still hear his conversation because his normal voice is yelling.
More knocking on our door, more loud talking. I cannot take it. The sound of my keyboard and mouse clicking is driving me crazy. My blood is boiling as heat rises to my face. I would love to jump out of this window. Deep breathing, trying to give my complete focus to my job, but now there is someone in the office next door, the walls are vibrating with the sounds of their conversation. Mumble mumble mumble. Why is everyone so loud?
Lunchtime, probably one of the WORST times of the day. I eat my lunch at my desk because the last place I can be is in our kitchen. Eating noises, dishes clanging, this room is bane of my existence. Regardless, I still cannot escape the obnoxious commotion of lunchtime. The kitchen is down the hall, but it sounds like it is right next to me. Deafening voices, laughing, cackling, this is a very rowdy crowd of people.
Strange how they always say how much they dislike each other but put them in a room and they become the noisiest crowd imaginable. Irately I blurt out “What the hell are they doing in there?” My coworker senses that I am at my limit. She gets up and walks down the hall, things quiet down. When she returns she tells me that she asked them to quiet down. Thank God! I am on the verge of tears but I have to hold it in. I find myself rocking to try to calm down, but it doesn’t work. A loud page blasts through my phone, I jump up grab the phone and toss it. Sadly it does not break, so I leave my phone off the hook so I do not have to hear the PA system.
Conversations… Why don’t these people understand simple office etiquette? They attempt to have a conversation by shouting at each other from several cubicles away. Is it really that difficult to walk over to someone’s cubicle and speak in a normal voice; or here is a novel idea, we have these devices on our desks called telephones, all you need to do it pick it up and talk to the person. This is an office not a playground. Have you ever heard of using an inside voice? There is no need for everyone in the office to hear your conversation.
Every office has the obnoxious employees that insist the only way to talk is to talk is if they speak over each other. Piercing nasal voices, one trying to out speak the other. Isn’t there a quieter way to get your point across? Will you please just SHUT UP?
I am being paged by the owner to report to his office. Most likely he wants to ask me something that could easily be handled over the phone. I peek my head in his office. “What did you need?” He replies in aloud gruff voice, “HUH? WHAT? Uh…. Um, uh… hang on a second, oh I forgot what I wanted.” That gun is about to explode in my head.
By mid-day I am emotionally and physically exhausted. My trigger tolerance is off the charts; I am anxious, nauseous and have a migraine. There is not a safe place to go to avoid the triggers. I have to hold my anger inside which feeds my anxiety. This place is like Miracle Grow for my triggers. I want to crawl out of my skin. Major sensory overload. Is it time to go home yet?
Some days are worse than others, working in Human Resources we constantly have employees in our office asking questions, complaining, etc. Many work in a loud production area, so they tend to speak louder without realizing it. Constant triggers all day long, staplers, shoes, talking, sneezing, phones ringing, the list is endless.
Finally it is 4:00, time to go home! I am so wired from the day’s events. I really need to decompress. The moment I walk in the door the chaos continues. Dogs jumping all over me- happy to see me, wanting their dinner… NOW! The kids rush downstairs to greet me, not even giving me a chance to put my purse down. The only thing I want to do is sit down and relax which I finally get to do around 6:00. It has been a long day, thankfully I only have to do this once a week.
You are probably wondering, “why don’t you find another job?” I have spent 28 years of my life at this company; I grew up here. We are family. Sure they trigger me like crazy but I know deep in my heart that some of these people will always be there to support me.
This year, I’ve been placed in the unfortunate situation of having to find a new job twice. Not only is it hard enough finding a job to begin with (I have complications beyond Misophonia: I’m pretty much stuck to anything that allows me to sit down), but there’s always that sense of anxiety about starting one when you finally get it. Then the thoughts of Misophonia kick in.
When I got my job earlier this year, it was in a call center, which involved credit cards and purchasing on the behalf of card holders. This means a lot of training time (five weeks to be exact) instead of the normal two days it takes to train a cashier, or a lot of other jobs that only require on-the-job training. This meant confined spaces and the potential for triggers.
I was nervous, but I hadn’t worked in almost a year and this job looked promising, with good pay. So I go to my first day, sit down with my classmates (small class, only eight; things are looking up) and instantly I spot Mr. Nose-Breather. You know the kind: breathe like they’re constantly active and haven’t cleaned out their nose since they were born. Oh, and the nostril sighs (because those are needed every fifteen to twenty minutes to show you they’re still breathing). So we’re an hour into the day and one-seventh of my classmates are triggering me. Not the worst odds I guess. We go into the class with assigned seating. Mr. Nose-Breather sits across the room, but still somehow manages to be louder than a jet engine. The woman next to me is an absolute sweetheart—until the gum comes out. Two-sevenths triggering me now, and we’re only an hour and a half into my job. There’s five weeks of this.
Within the next hour, Mr. Nose Breather discovers the free apples in the break room. He claims each apple has as much caffeine as a cup of coffee (apples contain 0mg of caffeine per apple), and has apparently decided to become a horse and eat every apple in his path. He even starts bringing bags of apples to work. I don’t know why apples were his thing—maybe I should have informed him that he wasn’t a horse and that apples don’t contain caffeine. Anyway, training class was now a litany of crunch-crunch, whistle-whistle, sigh, smack, crunch, sigh. You might be wondering how this description is productive, positive, or even relevant (other than serving as an insight into how my mind works when I’m triggered), but I promise there is a happy ending.
The solution was actually quite easy and comfortable; I was even able to obtain it without the uncomfortable situation of telling someone that he’s basically a machine producing every sound I hate. I found some nice noise-cancelling earplugs that still let in non-electronic voices (my job had high security, working with credit and all), and sent a quick email to my instructor:
Tom,
I suffer from a condition called Misophonia, and some of the sounds in this class trigger me. This gives me problems with paying attention. Do you mind if I use ear plugs while in class?
Very quickly and discretely, I got a response:
Robert,
That is fine. I looked it up and I’m sorry you have to suffer through this. It sounds like it’s difficult to manage.
From that day on I was relieved of my problem. I found that using the name of the disorder (or possibly sending an article about Misophonia) allowed the people it affected to look into it and see that it was a real thing. They were quickly able to see why I was having problems concentrating.
So there is hope after all! It just takes patience and the ability to educate others. People may never understand exactly what you’re going through, but at least they’ll be able to make sure that you don’t go through it alone.
Written by Robert Hakes
I’m a teenager currently in secondary school and with misophonia. Living with this condition can be hell. Some days are better than others. Some days, I feel like punching the teacher for triggering me and some days I can just try and find my happy place.
I think that for children and teenagers, dealing with misophonia can seem even more difficult because of everything else happening; hormones, exams, friendships, relationships, family problems, etc.
It seems that a lot of teenagers don’t realise what they have and therefore go years before trying to get help. So they live through the problems and fall into a negative cycle they can’t break free from.
Luckily for me, my school and most teachers were fairly understanding. They’ve let me wear earplugs around the hallways (they’re banned, technically) and I’m currently awaiting an appointment with an audiologist. I still wear them in noisy lessons, since teachers don’t notice and I still pay attention. If a teenager with misophonia doesn’t have earplugs, it can be really difficult. I know from experience; it sets you in a bad mood for the rest of the day, it can cause you to say or do things you’ll later regret, it can cause arguments and so on. Despite what I can now do, it did take a long time to get the school to let me wear them. Most teachers would tell me off for wearing them in the corridors. Some teachers didn’t do anything for a long time simply because they knew nothing about misophonia and how it affects people.
Like the majority of doctors, my GP didn’t have a clue what misophonia is. However, my mother made sure to let me see a GP who was very kind and understanding; the same one who dealt with my older sister. I printed off a document from the Misophonia International website, which was essentially an information pack for doctors who have never heard of misophonia. I explained what my triggers were and the symptoms and I showed him a page from the document that explained several ways to get help (coping skills, Audiologist, etc). He did send me to be assessed for ASD (Autism/Aspergers) as well as be referred to an audiologist, although this is taking a long time. Despite all this, he did listen and I was very lucky to have an understanding doctor.
Editor note: you can find a document for doctors/professionals here.
Some teenagers, however, cannot see a doctor. They sometimes believe that their condition may not exist because there’s not enough information about it.
They may not see a point in seeing a doctor if the doctor won’t know anything about misophonia. Their parents and family might not let them see a doctor because, unfortunately, some families simply aren’t very nice or understanding. If this is happening, there are still options.
My basic advice for young people who think they have misophonia is to firstly talk to the school. If you have a pastoral staff member you can talk to, or maybe a headteacher or head of house, you can talk to them. I understand there’s a stigma surrounding misophonia because it isn’t recognised by doctors yet, however if you show them articles or explain the condition to them they should understand.
Secondly is to buy a pair of earplugs. Online, you can get them cheaply at 99 pence. I recommend silicone ones, although you should find a pair that you are comfortable with. If you have long hair, you can hide them easily and you should still be able to hear the teacher but drown out triggers or the noisy classroom.
Thirdly is to have an escape plan. When I was dealing with anxiety at school, I had a green slip of paper that allowed me to walk out of a lesson if it got too noisy. If you have staff that you can talk to about that sort of thing, perhaps SEN (Special Educational Needs) or again, Pastoral, then you can talk to them about allowing you a way of getting out of lesson if you’re being triggered. That way, you can just get out and spend 5 minutes or so calming down and then go back into lesson.
Lastly is to have an assortment of objects with you to fiddle with. If you’re like me and good at restraining your reactions but become very stressed, then an object to fiddle with is perfect. It could be a fidget cube, a pen, a watch, a stress ball, whatever works for you. You can have several or one and keep them in your bags or pockets to try and keep yourself distracted.
Like I said, being a young person with a condition barely recognised by doctors is extremely difficult. Even more so when you’re growing up in a time when the world may seem like it’s going backwards and you have so many other problems going on. Being a teenager is indeed stressful. But you aren’t alone. I hope my story and advice helps at least someone, and helps them realise that you are not alone.
Dori, would you tell us about music therapy in general? What is it?
Music Therapy can be better described by saying music-based treatment, because it is a treatment in which various elements of music are applied to address human health issues. Music, as many know, contains six elements, including rhythm, tonality (melody), timbre, harmony, dynamics, and form, and variations thereof.
Any one or more of these can be directed toward treatment interventions to address a variety of health needs. Music-based treatments are applied to a variety of diagnoses, including ASD, Sensorimotor issues, Parkinson’s, ADHD, Alzheimer’s and various dementias, PTSD, Strokes, COMA and other conditions involving consciousness, pain management, cardiac problems, and so much more.
Many people confuse music therapy with “just listening to music”. Would you tell us about the difference and the overlaps?
Music-based treatment, aka music therapy, is a clinical intervention provided by a specially trained and credentialed (Board Certified, Licensed, etc.) clinician. There is a difference between music as “therapeutic”, and music therapy.
So, how would you describe “just listening to music”?
Music can be “therapeutic” when listened to recreationally. Listening to music may induce mood changes, memories, relaxation, release stress, help concentration and task attention, and more. But that is not “treatment” – it is like a self-medicated treatment, and yes, it’s good, but it is “in the moment.”
Then, how would you describe Music-based treatment?
Music-based treatment has goals and objectives for changes and functional adaptations related to an individual’s current situation to enhance better coping and responses to problems.
How does Music-based treatment work, then?
If you’re an anxious person, you want a music-based clinician who can administer the kind of music intervention that will ultimately strive to more permanently release anxiety. Another way to look at this, is that you want a therapist who can utilize music to alter the function of the brain’s amygdala (moving the individual’s nervous and physiological system from high arousal to calmer). A music-based clinician can help you mediate fight/flight with music. Anxious people, and people with misophonia, both tend to have higher arousal systems, involving fight/flight. When a person is in fight/flight the HPA Axis (Hypothalamic-Pituitary-Adrenal) shoots catecholamine in the blood stream (cortisone, adrenalin, etc.), and other hormonal and physiological processes occur. It is generally unhealthy for the body to be frequently and excessively activated like this.
Oh, so you are saying that music-based treatment can affect changes in the neurological/physiological system?
Yes. Sensorimotor and Neurologic Music Therapy treats all sorts of issues in persons of all ages. In essence, ‘just listening’ does not require a music-based clinician, but music-based treatment does, because it is interactive, and active interaction with music is a whole-brain activity that can address areas of function that ‘just listening’ omits (e.g., motor function, visual, tactile, etc.). I approach from a physiologic perspective, with the belief that even “psychology” is physiology.
I am so glad to hear you say that! Dori, one of the ideas I have always had, which we have discussed on and off for almost a decade, is that of using music as a “tool” for down-regulating the nervous system specifically for people who are auditory over-responsive. However, for people with misophonia, this might be counter-intuitive because certain noises are so bothersome. In other words for people with misophonia music itself can be a double-edged sword.
I think there are several ways music-based treatment can approach interventions for people with misophonia. As we’ve talked about, we can work on utilizing music as a means of down-regulating or “calming the system”.
I’m remembering an article from years ago…it was an academic article entitled “What Gives You Chills” or something like that. The main point was that while there are some universal elements that apply to what make music calming and/or up-regulating, personal choice is really where one needs to begin. For example, I know you find classical music to be relaxing, whereas for me (a person with misophonia) most classical music is highly aversive to me. In fact, what I find calming is kind of random, and certainly not genre specific. I’m guessing it is probably the same with most people with misophonia.
Of course, remember that listening to music and Music-based treatment are different. However, you are right (and this is particularly pertinent to misophonia). Finding the right music for the therapist to work with is going to be challenging. This is uncharted territory and we need to be careful.
I would think the best place to start is to ask the individual.
Absolutely. And once, we begin working with music a person likes, we can deconstruct the elements of that music that he or she likes. Remember before I was talking about the different elements of music; rhythm, tonality (melody), timbre, harmony, dynamics, and form…
Yes
Also, we can work with frequencies. If a person is discomforted by high frequencies, for example, you can add just a tiny bit of high frequency into music so that the brain can adapt.
That’s interesting.
Well, this is why I pointed out that Music based treatment is a lot more than just listening and that it involves use of the whole body. Expressing music, making music is not the same as listening and that can be a big part of music therapy treatment as well.
Of course, and you have done so much work in this regard for people with SPD, and Autistic Spectrum Disorder etc. who of course are often auditory over-responsive (which is similar to or may be a variant of misophonia). While we are on the subject, would you describe from your experience the difference of these disorders?
The main difference that I have found between ASD and SPD is the ability to modulate behavior, and control responses more functionally by persons with SPD vs. persons with ASD. In ASD, socialization difficulties are usually very evident, whereas in SPD they are not. In ASD, cognitive delays, language delay or difficulty with the social elements of language (which includes variations in pitch, or prosody, knowing when the timing is right to interject in a conversation, etc.) and slower information processing are most always present. However, in SPD these elements are not necessarily present. In other words, individuals with SPD and ASD share the sensory issues but those with SPD do not have the significant cognitive/social/language impairment. In terms of behavior, then SPD and ASD look very different, and I, for one, never confuse the two. It’s almost like asking what’s the difference between a man with black hair, and a woman with black hair. Characteristics of each are entirely different, although they both have black hair.
Well-stated Dori! I would add that people with Misophonia have extreme reactivity to certain noises and have great difficult modulating behavior because of the underlying fight/flight response that is triggered by this stimuli. I don’t think Misophonia is defined by any cognitive or language delays. However, there is no official definition yet. Speaking of which, many people with misophonia are also bothered by the visual perception of movement (often specifically of other people’s movement). Do you think music therapy might help with this?
I know music therapy can address this issue, with movement activities. And a mirror. In other words, what if “the other person” was in the mirror? I have many ideas for helping with visual interruptions of perception. I have a friend with ASD (“Asperger’s) who has a terrible, terrible stutter. He told me that when he speaks in person to someone, the visual movements he sees of the other person causes him to stutter very badly. However, when he speaks on the phone to the person, he’s better with language flow! So I suggested that he practice talking to his image in his mirror, and this changed the visual distraction. In music-based treatment, I would have us play fun instruments in front of a mirror, sing in front of the mirror, move our bodies, while singing before a mirror, and more.
That is really interesting Dori and this is really something that should be researched further! I have a question about art therapy. How is it different from music therapy? Do music and art therapists have different training?
I am not really qualified to talk about training of art therapists, except to note that art therapy is more a psychologically-based treatment – express your feelings through color, design, etc. Music expression does that also, but with the clinician who also participates with the client in music-making! Or – within a group. Art is individual, like the “just listening to music” vs. making music with another. The art therapist doesn’t make art with the client – the client is left to be inside his/her own head, without other external influences, while making music is collaborative with the clinician – we both make music with each other, and I will guide toward reaching an objective of self-expression, reduction of anxiety, and recognition of self. So yes, art therapists have different training as far as the treatment goals, objectives, and approaches. Art therapy’s main objectives are psychological (mind), while music therapy’s goals and objectives are mind-body – the whole persons, including muscles, joints, movements, etc. We don’t just sit in a chair and draw, paint, sculpt for a final result. We (music therapists) move, play, sing, share, interact, in a temporal manner – in the here and now and gone manner. (Unless we notate the music for future rendition – which does happen at times). Please understand, though, that I’m not comparing as to whether one or another is better – I have worked with art therapists and music, which was an ideal great advantage! It’s fun and a no-lose intervention for all.
I know that you also research in the field and write books. Would you tell us about that?
My books and research involve behavior characteristics of particular neurologic and sensorimotor difficulties. I have four published books, my first being on the subject of Performance Anxiety in musicians, but the following three books involve music and how physiology plays a role in treatment of various diagnoses through music interventions. My books can be found at Amazon, under my name Dorita Berger, and some of my writings are posted on Academia.edu, including my research paper. My books have descriptions of case studies. And…. I am now in the process of writing my 5th book, a kind of ‘non-academic’ book for parents, titled “Kids ‘n’ Music: Thinking Beyond The Spectrum”. It’s not an “academic” book, but a quick read with advice. Titles of my other books: Eurhythmics For Autism and Other Neurophysiologic Diagnoses: A Sensorimotor Music-Based Treatment Approach (JKP, 2015); The Music Effect: Music Physiology And Clinical Applications (JKP 2006, with Daniel J. Schneck); Music Therapy, Sensory Integration and The Autistic Child (2002, JKP); and Toward The Zen Of Performance: Music Improvisation Therapy For Developing Self-Confidence In The Performer.
That’s amazing Dori. I don’t know how you find the time to write all of these books! As my final question, would you please tell us a little more about yourself? How did you get started as a music therapist?
I started music when I was 5 years old, after being taken to the movies to see “A Song To Remember”, which is the life of Chopin – well, as Hollywood saw it. But the music (played by Arthur Rubinstein, by the way) was so gorgeous; all I wanted to do was to play the Piano!
Imagine, even at the age of 5, a child can already sense emotions in music! I began piano lessons then, in my native Argentine, and continued studying once we relocated from Argentina to New York City. And that was my life. I attended the High School of Music & Art in NYC, then went on to graduate in Piano Performance from Carnegie Mellon Univ. (I wanted to go out of town of course), returning to NY to attend graduate studies at Juilliard. Performed here and there, mostly chamber music, married, had kids, travelled, moved to different locations as a result of my husband’s profession, so performing became limited.
Then when one of our two daughters became a serious and excellent student on the violin, I helped her attend Juilliard, Aspen, and all the spots for upcoming performers, in addition to concertizing with her at many locations. And one day, I read an article about a Music Therapy clinic working with Autistic children, and what they described I thought to myself, “I’ve already done that…. Maybe I should get the degree”. I had worked with children, taught them, did improvisation, movement, etc. So I thought why not?
My intention was actually to work with psychiatric adults. So I attended NYU’s music therapy program, and two years later, Master’s Degree and Board Certification in hand, I was on my way to working at a special school for Neurodevelopmentally Delayed children – as in, Autism. When I started to work, I realized that I was incorporating my Dalcroze Eurhythmics training as interventions for sensorimotor deficits! And that ultimately led me to author several book dealing with music, physiology, sensorimotor systems, Autism, and more.
Thank you very much Dori. Please feel free to add any comments you would like.
Thank you for your interest in my work, my background, and me.
I am very supportive of your magazine, and the work you are doing to bring about awareness of misophonia. It similar to my discussions to people of Scotopic syndrome in which there is such visual processing issues due to light glaring on a piece of paper that then distorts and convolutes the image on the page – especially the writing on the page. Teachers expect special needs and sensory sensitive students to read the book that is lying flat on the desk, without ever considering that perhaps life refraction is disturbing the image and the student simply can’t make out what, precisely, is on the page!! So much is taken for granted, for lack of awareness, so I thank you for the work you are doing to bring about awareness of misophonia, which I think everyone experiences, at one time or another!
Dorita Berger, PhD, MT-BC, LCAT, has more than 20 years of experience as a Sensorimotor Music Therapist specializing in treating auditory and allied sensory factors in Autism Spectrum and related neurophysiologic diagnoses in all age groups. Dr. Berger has several published books lauded internationally, and peer- reviewed Journal articles and research on the role of music in human adaptation.
Dr. Berger received a Fulbright Visiting Professorship to teach Music Therapy in the Ukraine, a Global Education Grant to teach and lecture in Argentina (where she was born), and in Italy, and is sought nationally and internationally to lecture and teach about the role of music-based treatment in sensory processing and behavioral disorders.
Dr. Berger’s authored books include “The Music Effect: Music Physiology and Clinical Applications” (2006) co-authored with Virginia Tech’s Professor Emeritus, Dr. Daniel J. Schneck; “Music Therapy, Sensory Integration and The Autistic Child”, (2002), which has also been issued in the Korean Language (2012), and has been designated as one of the year’s best academic books by the National Academy of Sciences in Korea (2013); and “Toward The Zen Of Performance: Music Improvisation Therapy For Developing Self-Confidence In The Performer”: (1999).
Dr. Berger’s 4th book, Eurhythmics for Autism and Other Neurophysiologic Diagnoses: A Sensorimotor Music-Based Treatment Approach was released in 2015. In addition to teaching and lecturing, Dr. Berger, formerly from Norwalk, CT, is Clinical Director at Rhythm and Rehab Music Therapy Clinical Services in Durham, North Carolina.






